(he sets down the phone, looks at the angel, and applies more pressure to the wrench. NC: Yeah, I was wondering if there were any responses yet on that want ad. The angel makes a painful face but doesn't say anything for a while. (an ignoring NC grabs the wrench while still on the phone) I am your guardian an- (he is stopped because NC has crunched his testicles with said wrench, hence a cracking sound effect. (he turns off his phone, sets it on the planner and waits for one whole second before picking it up again and re-dialing)Īngel: (comes into the shot in front of the big window with his hand on his jaw, in pain from the obvious) Excuse me. He then speaks on the phone:) Uh, yes, I was wondering if I could make a listing in your want ads? Ah, yes, I want it to read: (apparently reading from the planner page) "Available: one cynical, pompous Internet celebrity ready to criticize for boatloads of cash." Oh yes, I'm sure that'll get plenty of responses! All right, thank you so much! Bye. NC finished dialing, sits down at the table, opens the planner, and turns a page in it. along with a small vise wrench, for some reason. Cut to likely NC's dining room where there is a dayplanner on the table. NC: Had enough Jehovah's Witnesses today. (cut to shot of us following NC down the stairwell) I am your guardian (back to previous angle) an- (NC punches him in the face - quick flash of light added, too - as he watches him fall to the ground) After taking a step or two, he is startled to see this being in front of him.Īngel : Hello, Critic. We see NC walk out of his room with his phone in hand, starting to dial. Cut to a shot of the stairwell where this figure stands at the bottom, back to us. He then turns to the stairway where NC went just prior and waits for him. When it retracts, we see what appears to be an angel, perhaps, in a white robe looking right at us for a few seconds. Once it settles down, it turns into a large, bright light, blinding everything. As soon as he leaves, a small light of some kind enters the hallway as ethereal music begins to play. We see NC come out of one hallway and go straight up some stairs. (He then holds up a right-hand puppet of Wembley from Fraggle Rock and walks out of shot.)Ĭut to another hallway in NC's house, regular angle. Ma-Ti: (looks at NC in wonder for a bit, but he then looks in the direction where NC came and says:) OK. NC: Hey, I'll tell you what: (puts his right index finger on his chest) you're so concerned, (throws his hand in Ma-Ti's face) YOU run the show! (he walks away) Ma-Ti: But, Critic, you can't just leave! Cut back to NC) FUCK that shit! No, I'm done! I am TOTALLY done with this gig! I am (with his right index finger, he brings THAT down hard on the table) NEVER doing Nostalgia Critic again! (points at us) Fuck this shit, man! (gets up and leaves) FUCK this shit!Ĭut to NC's hallway, low-angle, where Ma-Ti is waiting in the doorway. The drawing has the title:) "A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa"?! (NOTE: Doug misspelled that - three A's, Doug, not two. NOTE: for the DVD release, we don't see CB or Linus.
COMMANDO 2013 ROTTENTOMATOES TV
Nostalgia Critic (NC): I'VE HAD IT! (slamming his fist on the table) I'VE REALLY HAD IT! I mean, it's Christmas time and I'm not given ONE good thing to review! (slams hands down, then holds them up in disgust) I mean, WHAT IS THIS?! (cut to a Peanuts drawing of Charlie Brown and Linus from that TV special. (once NC takes up the whole screen, the color shifts to normal and the festive music fades as we hear.) He was not." - that's all that could fit on-screen) and how he was having (we zoom in on NC) a not-so-jolly Christmas. Underneath this are the words: "It all started with a little dick-shit named the Nostalgia Critic.
This is the story about a little boy named the Nostalgia Critic (cut of a graphic of the page from SC's storybook it's a sepia-toned picture of the Nostalgia Critic in mid-yell with fists in the air.
Santa Christ (SC): HO HO HO, boys and girls! I'm Santa Christ, and Merry Christmas to you all! Ho ho ho! It certainly is the most wonderful time of the year! Ho ho ho! (cut to a close-up) But did you know there was a Christmas that almost wasn't? (finishes with raised eyebrows cut back to original angle, as he opens his book) Well, this has nothing to do with that story. We next dissolve to Santa Christ sitting in a chair in a room somewhere adorned with holiday decor he holds a book in his left hand. We open to Skitch's instrumental of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" in the key of F, which plays throughout the opening, along with some CGI snowfall in front of a red background and the title of our episode: You're a Rotten Dirty Bastard in big yellow letters, A Christmas Special in smaller white letters.
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